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Does someone own your soul and you want it back? Do you claim ownership of a soul but lack the verification? Do you dispute a soul on offer by our Custodial Service? Through Commvnion’s Soul Mediation and Restitution service, a tribunal of Custodians can help remedy almost every incorporeal hiccup one might encounter.

The Soul Mediation and Restitution process involves a carefully selected tribunal of Custodial Peers, picked by you, and approved by Commvnion’s Unhuman Resource Department. Once approved, the tribunal is scheduled to meet exactly 32 days before and after the winter solstice.

After the tribunal has sufficiently examined and considered the problem at hand, a final meeting under the new moon will take place for the Indisputable Verdict to be read aloud. All parties involved are required by Ethereal Law to bear witness, and any deviation from the Custodial Tribunal’s Indisputable Verdict will result in immediate forfeiture of all souls in question, regardless of prominence or current temporal whereabouts.

If you’d like to inquire about our Soul Mediation and Restitution services, please contact us directly.

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. - Matthew 10:28